TESTIMONY: (Written by Aaron Boggs)
When I read this verse, I wonder if I have ever prayed so earnestly and so honestly. In the past, I believed if I were to fall on my face in prayer, God would see through it for what it was, hollow. Jesus did not lie when he called upon God, Abba Father, to deliver Him from certain death. Jesus did not want to suffer and die, but Jesus also did not lie when He prayed, “yet not as I will, but as you will.” There have been times when there was a decision in front of me and I would say the same prayer, “not as I will, but as you will,” but my heart would drift towards my will and pass it off as God’s will. I cannot begin with my conclusion and then pray God’s will and approval into it. This has been paramount in my spiritual transformation, searching to move past my own spiritual dishonesty to embrace the will of God. My flesh, my will, is in direct conflict with God’s will, and Jesus shows that inner transformation is perpetuated by the peaceful presence of God in our physical world and our soul.
Our spiritual transformation begins within us, in that area that we hide from others, which we deem unworthy to share. That area that we cannot be honest with, is the beginning of our true self that we cannot bear to look at. Our denial and self-deception serve only as a barrier between us and God’s will for us. Embracing our spiritual potential is picking up our cross and sacrificing our will to the greater will of God. Knowing that our understanding is not the top priority, but expanding the kingdom of God is. My path to Sanctuary church is because I was obedient to God’s will. I did not know anyone, and it is uncomfortable to attend where you are anonymous. I drove by and heard in a small voice, “you should go there.” I would like to profess my spiritual awareness and say that I was immediately obedient, but it took time, weeks in fact. I was already involved in an- other church, and it took time for me to ignore my unanswered questions of “why”, and the excuses I could rationalize for not attending Sanctuary. Eventually, excuses can be seen as little more than a broken crutch, and I stopped asking “why” and started asking “where do you want me?”
God wants all of me, not a portion that I choose to share once or twice a week, but all. I am committed to sacrificing my will and my desire on the cross I carry daily. By doing this DAILY, I can focus completely on God’s will and not my own. The devotion I have to my continuous spiritual transformation will see a natural expression of Jesus in my character, and while there may be times that I may not want to do God’s will, my desire to fulfill my spiritual potential focuses more on my obedience to stay in God’s will and His presence.
My ability to build a lasting relationship with God is built upon a foundation of communication. If there are two people in a room and they are told to observe each other, but not to speak, they would each get a description of the other person, but would not truly know them, and there would certainly be no relationship. David was God’s beloved because he would repent of his multitude of sins; David was able to do this because he was constantly communicating with God. Jesus and David’s relationship with God is beyond a shallow exchange of pleasantries as they are each prepared to surrender everything. My relationship with God allows me to call out to Him and express my will, and that same relationship concedes my will to God’s with all humility and obedience.
