Our devotion this week, Getting It Right With Others, was provided by Life.Church and is available on the YouVersion Bible app.
What does healthy conflict look like?
An oxymoron is when seemingly contradictory words appear together. Like jumbo shrimp. Pretty ugly. Virtual reality. Random order.
Get the idea?
At first glance, healthy conflict might seem like an oxymoron too. However, when we look at what the Bible says, healthy conflict is exactly what God had in mind.
In Matthew 18:15, Jesus said that if a brother or sister sins against you, you should go directly to that person and point at their fault—just the two of you.
Woah. Okay, Jesus.
This is the completely opposite of what we want to do when someone offends us.
And you know what we want to do? We either want to run or rant. When someone makes us mad, we either want to run away and avoid the problem, or we want to rant about that person to everyone but that person.
Jesus proposed a different way—a better way—which involves us confronting the situation at the root of the problem.
So, how do you confront conflict? Here are three ways:
1.) Go immediately. Ephesians 4:26 says to not let the sun go down while we’re angry. Confront the conflict as soon as possible.
2.) Go directly. When you and a friend have conflict, it’s tempting to go to everyone but that friend! But Proverbs 11:13 says that a gossip betrays a confidence. God dislikes gossip and spreading rumors.
3.) Go humbly. It may not have occurred to you, but you might not be in the clear. Be willing to admit that you were wrong, and be humble. Humility looks good on everyone. Proverbs 15:1 says that a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
So, how do we deal with conflict in a healthy way? We go. We resolve the conflict immediately, directly, and humbly. And when we do that, it honors God and starts healing our hearts.
Read Matthew 18:15.
15 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.
Read Ephesians 4:25-32.
25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 26 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold. 28 Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work,doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.
29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Read Proverbs 11:13.
13 A gossip betrays a confidence,
but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.
Read Proverbs 15:1.
1 A gentle answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger.
